How a muslim should treat their parents according to Islam

1. Behave well towards their father and mother and consider this good conduct as a propitious act which will earn God’s grace in this world as well as in the next. Next to God, man owes the greatest obligation to his parents.

Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and (that ye show) kindness to parents.” (17:23)

Abu Umama relates: “A man enquired from the Holy Prophet (pbuh): “O Prophet of God   What are the rights of parents over their offspring?” The Holy Prophet (pbuh) affirmed: “Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad conduct towards your parents.” (Ibn Majah)

 2. Be grateful to their parents. Allah say in Holly Quran:

(We willed) that you should offer thanks to Me and remain grateful to your father and mother.” 

 3. Always try to make their parents happy. Do not say anything in opposition to their will or temperament which may displease them, especially when they are advanced in age they acquire a peevish and irritable temperament. Quran confirm it as:

 If one or both of thy parents reach an advanced age with thee, say not ‘fie’ unto them nor repulse them.” 

As a matter of fact, the strength to tolerate unpleasant things is sapped daring old age and weakness increases the sense of self-importance in old people. Hence they react sensitively to even minor offensive matters. Keeping in view their delicate and sensitive nature, do not let your parents feel angry by any of your words or deeds. 

‘Abdullah ibn Amr   relates that the Holy Prophet (pbuh) affirmed : “The pleasure of God is contained in the pleasure of the father even as His displeasure is contained in the displeasure of the father.” (Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban, Hakim)

4. Do service to their parents with heart and soul. If God has afforded them the opportunity to serve their parents, it is in fact a favourable opportunity for them to earn entitlement to Paradise and to win the Pleasure of God

The Holy Prophet (pbuh) has observed : “Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be disgraced even more.” The people enquired : “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you) who is that man?” The Prophet of God (pbuh) affirmed: “I refer to the man who finds his parents old in age – both of them or one of them – and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good service to them.” (Muslim) 

5. Respect and adore their parents and do not show disrespect to them by a single word or action. The Holy Qur’an affirms: “But speak to them a gracious word.” (17:23)

6, Be faithful and humble towards their parents as said in the Quran “And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy.” (17:23)

7. Consider their own goods as the property of their parents and spend your capital on them with an open hand. The Holy Qur’an affirms: They ask thee, what they shall spend. Say what ye spend for good mast go to parents.”  (2:215)

8. Even if their father and mother are non-Muslims, treat them well. Continue to pay them respect and devotion and serve them faithfully. However, in case they command them to become a polytheist or indulge in a sinful act, refuse to obey them and sternly repulse their demand. Quran confirm: “And if your (parents) pressure you to associate someone with Me of which you have no knowledge, obey them not, yet continue to treat them well in the world.” 

9. Observe special care in looking after their mother. By nature, the mother is weak and more sensitive and needs them better treatment and devotion. Moreover, her favours and sacrifices are comparatively far greater than the father. Hence religion has conceded preferential rights to the mother and has enjoined upon the believers to treat their mothers with special consideration. The Holy Qur’an affirms: “And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents.  His mother beareth him with suffering, bringeth him forth with suffering, bearing of him and weaning of him is thirty months.” (46:15)

Abu Huraira  reports: “A man came to the presence of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) and submitted “O Prophet of God (pbuh)’ Who deserves the noblest treatment from me?’ The Holy Prophet (pbuh) observed: “Your mother.” He again submitted: “And next?’ The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : “Your mother.” When the man submitted for the fourth time: “And who next?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Your father.” (Al-Adabul Mufrad) 

10. Show good conduct to the friends of their father and the female companions of their mother. Treat them with respect. Seek their advice just as their seek the advice of their elders and pay due regard to their opinions and advice. Abu Barda relates: “When I arrived in Medina, ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar   paid me a visit and said : “Abu Barda , do you know why I have come to see you?” I replied : “No, I have no idea why you have come here.” Thereupon  ‘Abdullah ibn “Umar said: “I have heard the Prophet of God (pbuh) as affirming: “The man who wishes to render good service to his father, who is in the grave, ought to show good treatment to his father’s companions and friends.” Having related this saying of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar   remarked: “Brother, my father “Umar and your father  were on terms of deep friendship. I wish to commemorate this friendship and fulfil its duties.” (Ibn Hibban)

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